This week I turned 35. “35!” Cries my inner self as I suddenly remember that the numbers seem to quite quickly go up and up each year of my life that passes me by.
35 years – does that mean I have potentially lived half of my life already? And with that thought then comes the biggie – “If half has gone, what have I achieved and what do I want for the next half?”
Oh you know….not a scary question at all! Offt!
So right now as I write, it is lunch time. 8wk old little ninja dude is having his big lunchtime nap in his room. Biggest ninja son is off to nursery with his Gran. My biggest Man ninja (husband) is at work. The house is just me in the silence typing away on my bluetooth keyboard with my Ipad and the cats having a sleep near me. Life is peaceful. Life is happening all around me.
My past 35 years have been filled with more excitement and drama that perhaps I would have forecasted for, given my love of everything to be somewhat in my control, but the place I am at right now is my inner home. I look at the walls and see photos of people I love, including two children that I carried and delivered myself. There is also three more children in our blended family who are proudly displayed and loved on our walls.
There is a wedding photo, and other photos of our wedding with the 9 guests who attended as this time around (this wasn’t our first wedding in life but that is for another time :O) ) as that particular event was purely all about us and our love. It wasn’t a wedding for anyone else – and I’m glad we did it that way, as it suited us perfectly.
There is a violin which I have had since I was about 13 years old, where I played in many orchestras growing up and took me to some wonderful places. Music is my other love whether it is playing or listening, it fills my soul with happiness.
There is a cheerleading “First place” trophy which reminds me of the 5 years I gave up full time normal work to coach cheerleading & dance, and run my own business. We weren’t just ok, we were good. We were really good and gave those around us a run for their money, which they didn’t like. Never mind as they probably moved quickly on to another team to win against.
There is toys my Son loves like Paw Patrol and cars & trains of every kind – where I watch him engineer race tracks and train tracks and he wants nothing more than me to sit for 10 mins and play with him. There is a baby bouncer and baby kick mat, that reminds me of my latest creation and final input into the world for their lifetimes.
As I gaze from my couch I see a sign that we purchased about a year ago, which simply hangs above our door on your way out and reads:
“Be Awesome Today”.
If I could sum up what I have learnt the past 35 years it was I have no regrets – whether the choices seemed dramatic or not. My best decisions were the hardest and often that is when I made the right ones that lead to far greater life experiences. The past 35 years has taught me that you need to follow your heart and mind to fill your days with joy – if it doesn’t bring you joy it is time to re-evaluate it and work out why you are doing it. Joy and happiness is the only real tangible thing you take from the years behind you and into the years to come. Each event and choice is to shape you and your life you want to lead.
Never be afraid to rock the boat, or to do what you know is best. After all, other people have their 70 odd years to do what they want, so best not to try to control someone else’s unless it is for their best interests completely.
I look forward to the next 35 years and more with a heart full of joy and thanks, and ultimately I could not have hoped for more in my life. Lots of improvements to be sure I feel as much joy each day as I can, as this life is way to short to waste even a moment.
Love MFF xx