I’m now the proud mother of a full of life feisty three year old toddler and a 5 week old baby boy – both demanding my attention and love. And I do it whole heartedly with a smile on my face, even though sometimes it can feel like it is role that is way too much for me to take.
This is the final week before our toddler starts nursery each day, when the house will be quiet each working day from about 12.30pm until 4.30pm and it will just be myself and little dude. I adore being a mother, I truly love seeing my children grow and develop each day – and I have a wonderful loving family home with a husband who makes me happy and I adore.
But I also enjoy the flip side too – when the world is quiet and everyone is taken care of without me needing to do anything other than focus on myself. I think this is why I particularly enjoy the mental and emotional balance my choices in life have given me where I choose to work as well as look after the home, as I can see how the “time out” from being a provider and care-giver to my children benefits me. It makes me come back to them with even more love and attention to wanting to be the best version of a mother I can be for them. All in balance though, all in balance.
Today is Monday and in my head I’ve nicknamed today a “MumDay” as my toddler has been away since mid morning with the grandparents and I’ve solely had the baby to look after. I actually find that due to the nap times of a small child it can feel actually like having the day somewhat to yourself in a way, and I have really enjoyed getting those few hours throughout today to have a shower in peace, pamper myself (paint my nails) and then sort the house ready for a tasty dinner for all when everyone arrives back home from work and grandparents. The scary thing is – that you can actually feel guilty that the world is peaceful and you don’t have any responsibilities for that short hour or two. Well, obviously still making sure baby is safe asleep is always there, but there is small chances to involve baby in exactly what you want to do with your day rather than schedule round older children and help them be entertained.
Why is it though we feel guilty about actually having balance and looking after ourselves sometimes as parents of small children in particular? Is it actually that means that we completely care about our role and take it seriously – but should remember it’s ok to not be completely dedicated to them all the time? How hard is it to take a few hours out in a random day, whether it be to go for a walk by ourselves or simply have a bath without anyone distracting us?
Life is all about balance – and the coming weeks I know my challenge will be to find a balance in the working week when it is just myself and the children and fitting in all they need to attend and need from me. But the balance will also be making sure I don’t neglect my own needs where I can find opportunity such as a nap when other half is around, or simply a wander round the shops on my own.
It might not happen every week to feel like the day has been somewhat less demanding, particularly as baby grows up more each day, but I’m hoping to keep in mind what they need most is the best version of me and that requires some time for me to unwind and “non-mother” responsibilities too. I’m very lucky to have a supportive and wonderful husband, plus also a sister and parents who will always offer to give me back some time to myself. Just maybe once in a while it isn’t so bad to take them up on the offer, if it makes me happier for those around me to see.
Once in a while ain’t so bad to have a “MumDay” or moment…
Love MFF xx